Trying to track down someone like this in the *nix world is next to impossible. At MS, it's a phone call away.
Um yeah, and they'll charge you just as much if not more as if you had called Sun for advice on your Solaris problem. Even better, you might get an answer that completely avoids your question, but still get charged for it. At least Sun provides a guarantee of resolution of the problem.

Don't let me disturb your bad reasoning though. Troll on, brother.